Bereaved Kin Push For Military Condolence Letters
Advocates for bereaved military families say soldiers like Williams deserve better. Theyre asking President Barack Obama to send condolence letters to the next of kin of troops who die under a variety of circumstances not directly related to the war.
“Every military family pays a price when a loved one serves in the military,” Bonnie Carroll, a military widow who founded the advocacy group Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, wrote in a letter sent to Obama on Tuesday, as veterans and military officials met in Washington for a four-day suicide prevention conference.
“Their loved ones stand ready to go into harms way to protect our country,” Carroll wrote. “Their deaths are painful to their surviving family members, regardless of the circumstances or location of the death.”
There is no standard policy on how deceased military veterans are honored. Policies vary on whose names go on military and community memorial walls, whose families receive a Gold Star lapel button from the Defense Department or who can get a Gold Star license plate.
Currently, the White House sends presidential condolences to the families of those who died either in combat or as a result of noncombat incidents in a war zone, such as a car crash or illness.
However, presidential condolence letters are not sent to the families of those who commit suicide, either at home or at war. Families of those who die outside the war zones in other ways, such as in a training accident, generally dont receive them, either.
A review is under way to determine whether presidential letters should be sent for suicides. Advocates say extending that honor to all deceased troops, regardless of how they died, would go a long way toward comforting the families.
Williams mother, Connie Scott, 54, of Owatonna, Minn., said a memorial service in her sons honor was held at his Army post, Fort Carson, Colo., after he died in 2007. But his name was not added to a memorial wall there because he didnt die in the war zone. His family members were not eligible for a Gold Star lapel button, which the Defense Department issues to the families of those who died from “armed hostilities.”
That lack of recognition, Scott said, made her feel as if her sons death was not considered as significant as someone elses.
“There needs to be more about the soldiers life than the soldiers death. There seems to be too many layers of recognition,” Scott said. “They still enlisted. They still took an oath to serve their country and give their life in whatever way their country asked.”
TAPS spokeswoman Kim Ruocco, 46, of Newbury, Mass., said the organization has received complaints about military bases and communities that do not include the names of those who died while serving in ways other than killed in action.
Recognition on such walls or in a condolence letter from the president is incredibly important to the families, she said – especially those who are dealing with a suicide.
Still, Ruocco said shes seen some encouraging signs. She was pleasantly surprised recently on a visit to Enid, Okla. There, on a memorial near Vance Air Force Base, her husbands last station, was a flag pole dedicated in his honor.
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-TALK (8255).
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